K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
