Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
