do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
