What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just googled if crying burns calories
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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