If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
