No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
