remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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