if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
