I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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