Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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