sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
