I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
