dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
