I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
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Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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