Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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