The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
