How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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