You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
