How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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