Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
