I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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