My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
