I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
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it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
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I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.