it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
