Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight