I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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