just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
