New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
