He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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