White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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