Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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