I look better un-naked...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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