he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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