We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab