I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
