I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
