Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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