There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
