The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
