yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
