That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
