Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
