i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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