you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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