I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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