Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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