Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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