In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
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My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
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So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
All I want is dick and wine.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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