no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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