that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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