Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
