connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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