Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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