..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
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I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
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I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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