The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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